Percy's One Shot Funnies
by adstro
Summary: A bunch of stories I write when I'm too tired to do anything else. Basically I'm giving up my sleep for you! Drop by and laugh!
1. Chapter 1

**Look! Percy Jackson one shots that were born via me not doing math and being too tired to function properly. Also written on an iPhone with their stupid autocorrect. *Grumble grumble Grumble.* **

**Ok these are just random shorts. Let me know if you want me to say up late so I can write more!**

**Pandora The Panda**

"Pandora is a panda?" Percy asked Annabeth.

"Why would she be a Panda?" Annabeth replied.

"Have you ever heard of an animal character that's animal didn't start with the things first name?" Percy Answered in question form.

"Why must we say everything in question for?" Annabeth questioned.

*Breaks fourth barrier* "Adam, stop it!"

"Never," I scream back, "I write you. You will do as I want you to."

"We need to fix this," Annabeth stated, "let's ask Rachel for a prophecy about killing the writer."

**Red Cows**

"Annabeth you know I love you," Percy began," I think your the most beautiful girl in the world."

"Love you too seaweed brain," Annabeth replied looking into the ocean.

"Your grey eyes are like perfect rain clouds," Percy said seriously," And you overall look like a- RED COW!"

I look like a what?" Annabeth said, putting her hand on her hip, looking offended.

"Damnit Apollo," Percy yelled at the sky, "why must you always ruin my romantic moment on the beach with your cows?"

Apollo beamed down. "I didn't put this cow here. If you like I can make a haiku about this."

"No don't!" Annabeth yelled as he begun.

"Red cows are my cow

Making people's romantic moments end

Boy I love cows

"That wasn't even a haiku," Annabeth commented.

"I don't care," Apollo stated, " 'cause I'm that awesome."

**Fish Boy? (Theme song to Percy Jackson cartoon)**

"Fish boy!

Is he even a mammal?

Fish boy!

Has enamel!

With is big green eyes,

He'll save Annabeth from a spider!

'Cause he's fish boy!" Apollo sang. " I even wrote it myself!" He bragged.

"Don't lie," Poseidon said angrily, " I wrote it."

**Remember to leave a review. I love**

**Reading your reviews as long as it isn't "more Percabeth! Percabeth out of your wazoo.**

**Yes it's a word. My iPhone says it is.**

**Hating autocorrect always,**

**Adam!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, now the first one is open I'd love to do aa whole story on. Let me know if you'd like that!**

**The Creator**

"Oh no!" Chiron yelled, "another prophecy."

Rachel had been tell about the future for 2 straight days and all of the scribes had been sent home. Percy was scrolling them down.

"What's wrong with her?" Percy questioned.

"The writer is abusing his power," was Chiron's answer. "The writer is more powerful than all of our gods. He runs runs this universe."

"Why didn't I know this?" Asked Percy.

"Because," Chiron began, "Rick was our old writer. Somehow this new writer has taken over!"

"I hope he will not break Annabeth and I up!?" Percy yelled at the sky. "How do we know what he is saying anyways?"

Chiron, looking more and more worried and said, "you can't. He is all of us and none of us."

**Here is a random one about how mic I hate old grumpy, fat, stupid, pot bellied bullying satrys! Made into a bad joke!**

**Hunting**

Percy shot his arrow far from the target. It was large and furry, it's head in the grass. "Blaaaah," it bleated," Percy you almost shot the king of the wind in the butt."

"Sorry Grover," Percy called. "Why did you need your butt anyways?"

"If I didn't have a butt I couldn't sit around all day."


	3. Chapter 3

**Beautiful Music**

Apollo has been making liquid dubstep and glitch-hop for music companies around the world. One beautiful night he was playing it around the town of New York and noticed that his music had an odd side affects on mortals. It made people burst into dance, as well as call aliens from space.

He couldn't help but smirk at the crazy party he was causing with his music.

He got an amazing idea. This idea happened to involve the second side affect of his music.

He made a new song that made people dance in such a way it summoned Khaos, the creator (totally not a hint on what is going to happen in LLR) of everything.

It didn't end well, unless your definition of well is very sadistic.

And you really like death.

**The Secret Man With The Plan That Pulls The Strings **

He pulls the strings of the universe, controlling even the Fates, who have the most known influence on people.

He is the man with the master plan to create perfection.

There is only one problem. The problem is that this being is a writer.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry that the firsI none doesn't mention the game name. I love that game, but but don't really want a lawsuit. **

**Also let me know what disease Ares made. **

**Ranked Match**

"You see this new video game," Apollo asked Zeus.

Zues was on his Laptop looking at pictures of his family throughout history. He quickly flashed between a picture of Poseidon on vacation with Aphrodite to Ares and Apollo playing a prank in Jamaica.

"What is it about," Zeus asked clearly bored with sorting 3000 years of family photos.

"It is about all of our godly forms," Apollo said simply although he quickly became grumpy.

"Really," Zeus asked doused her interested, "how do we look?" "We look alright," Apollo replied, "although they got me all wrong. I swoosh my hair to the left not the the right! And my chin isn't that pointy."

"Look at Poseidon," Zeus laughed at the screen," he has that really macho voice and those huge biceps. So inaccurate!"

Posideon flashed in immediately showing off his muscles," not really," Apollo muttered.

**Ares's Prank**

Ares was in his secret lab mixing random chemicals together. His end goal was a disease to humiliate the other gods.

He created it. It was bullet shaped. As he was packaging it a small amount leaked into a mortal passing by.

That poor, poor mortal man took a huge hunk of Racoon, spreading the disease. The mortal man later died, foaming from the mouth.


	5. Chapter 5

**Meeting**

**Wait! Before I tell you this totally not rushed quick story I thought I should tell you that if you submit ideas for stories I will write them. They have to be below K+ though.**

"Hello," I said to Paul shaking his hand. I noticed that it was sweaty, and a similar size to my own.

Paul was tall, with salt as pepper hair, and blue eyes. He had small smile wrinkles on his face.

I could see why my mother loved him. He reminded me of Poseidon.

"Paul," I began,"I know this is going to sound crazy. You have to hear me out."

"I'm listening," he said calmly.

"I'm a demigod," I told him matter-o-factly.

"What?" Paul asked clearly confused.

"All the Greek gods are real," I told

Paul. Dad, I thought, could

You appear now like we planned.

As if it was planned and it had been, my father appeared out of nowhere.

"I-I believe you," said Paul, no longer sounding confused, but more curious, more like a teacher. I was beginning to like Paul.

** An Awful Pattern**

At the beginning there was nothing. No beings, no life. Out of the blue, a portal came a Immortal being. This being was the Creator. She was named Khaos. Khaos created Tarturus, Gaea and Uranus.

Khaos disappeared back through this "portal" to wherever he had come from.

Gaea and Uranus had children. So the Titans where born.

Shortly after there birth the Titans sliced up Uranus his genitalia landing in the ocean, created the love Godess.

The Titans got married and had children. Again the parents and the children fought. The father was sliced up and thrown into Tarturus.

History repeats.

The gods just had there children.


End file.
